Mar

Learning to Enjoy the Journey

Just as the old axiom states, “Life is a journey, not a destination,” I am learning to comfortable with that concept.

Most of my life, I have been a goal-driven person who eagerly has sought out how to achieve my goals with the shortest path possible. When this doesn’t meet my fast-achieving ambitions, I become disappointed. I am very much about the destination.

This finish line mentality has often brought more disappointment to my life than it has brought satisfaction. Why? Because I have not come to terms with the truth that arriving at goals almost always requires a journey of several steps in which to reach those goals. A prime example lies within my race to become a full-time and permanent classroom teacher. That is my career goal – the benchmark in which I have spent 4 years trying to achieve. Over these 4 years, I have experienced a journey – a journey of many steps, much growth, and slowly increasing maturity. It is over these 4 years that I have slowly begun accepting the axiom and begun feeling comfortable with it. In fact, whenever I look back in hindsight, I realize I needed these steps in order to be ready for the final goal. There are still several steps that I need before I can be completely ready. Even when I reach that goal, I will not know everything I need to be the perfect teacher. If I think this automatic transformation will occur overnight, it only goes to show I’m not ready.

The journey started about 4 years ago, when I began substitute teaching in Arlington, Virginia part-time. In 2006, I wasn’t yet sure whether I wanted to pursue a career in teaching. I was studying architecture at night at the University of the District of Columbia where I had a 3.7 GPA, but felt very unfulfilled with my career path. In May of that year, I left UDC and Architecture and never looked back. Stepping out of the boat and attempting to walk on water in a step of faith – yes, my faith in God had a lot to do with this – I began substituting in Arlington high schools, and loved every moment!

The next 2 years really reinforced this leap of faith as the right thing to do. Between 2006 and 2008, I substituted for 2 school years, took certification exams in 2 states, and sought out a graduate school where I could earn my teaching degree and licensure – tools needed to become a career teacher. The more I became involved in the world of education, the more it felt comfortable. The more I stood in front of kids and attempted to demonstrate encouragement to them, the more fulfillment I felt. Nothing has felt so fulfilling as teaching.

In the fall of 2008, I was accepted to 3 graduate teaching programs in New York State. I chose Fordham University, the most prestigious of the 3. Week to week and month to month, I received further confirmation that I was heading down the right path. While it was the most challenging and rigorous year of my life, it was also the most encouraging, motivating, and strengthening year. I was very much in the mentality still of quickly reaching my goal – finishing a teacher education program in only 11 months. I walked out at the top of my class, along with a handful of other students. I also received certification from 2 states and membership in 2 honors societies. But I still wasn’t happy.

In the final months of my graduate program, I had completed almost a year of student teaching – receiving a real taste of what it is like to be an actual professional teacher. It was like a drug to me – something I had to have more of right away, and waiting would be like a withdrawal for me. Don’t get me wrong, teachers should definitely have a passion for what they do (and I still very much do), but I wasn’t willing to settle for less – despite the situation going on with education in New York. In those final months, strict hiring restrictions were established in hiring of teachers for the upcoming year. Becoming a full-time teacher there wasn’t a realistic goal – yet I wasn’t willing to yield to extending my journey any longer. I felt that I had already taken long enough walking down the path – and I needed to pay my bills, which only exacerbated my impatience.

At the end of my time in New York, I looked back at my graduate studies and student teaching – realizing in hindsight that I wouldn’t have been a very effective teacher without those steps – without that leg of the journey toward my goal. It was that reflection that really started a slow change in my attitude – I started to see the importance of the journey and value it a bit. Circumstances with the hiring restrictions and with following my faith to leap again, I moved back home to Northern Virginia for the next leg in my journey.

Back in Virginia, I realized once again I had made the right step in faith – and have felt only stronger about it as time passes. Within the first 3 months back home, I landed jobs as a teaching site liaison for an elementary school NCLB program, a return position to the coaching firm I once worked – this time as a staff trainer, and returned to Arlington – where this crazy journey began 4 years ago. With the latter job, I was able to evaluate my teaching in the very same school prior to graduate school and following graduate school. I am so much better than I was in the early days – thus showing yet again that the journey in which I embarked was crucial. This realization really put me in the place I am now – seeing the value AND the necessity of a journey when it comes to my development as a teacher.

Further steps in the journey toward becoming a full-time teacher include becoming the co-leader of my church’s youth group, teaching 1st graders in the NCLB program mentioned above, and the possible opportunity to teach full-time in an Arlington High School as a building-based substitute. For right now, I am almost looking forward to my current situation more than to reaching the goal at this very moment. That being said, I do have a goal of being a full-time teacher by next school year – still 6 months away. In the period between now and September, I am very excited to see where the path leads next – enjoying each and every step while in it – and what I will learn along the way to make me a better educator. I also know that this journey will extend far beyond the day I sign my first contract and will not end until I breathe my last.

Life is a journey. I am finally ready to live it. Guess I should find my passport